It's Starting to Come Together...

Wow. I'm almost done reading The Mystery Method for the first time (I intend to read it over and over!), and it's all starting to come together. Here's what I have so far. It is entirely in PUMA terms. For the PUA equivalent, see page 63 of the book.

The game is played in three phases: pickup (attraction), mid-game (conversation), and end-game (sale). Each phase has three phases of its own:

Attraction

A1 = Advertising

This is your ad, your website, your voice recording...basically anything that the prospect sees about you before you actually talk. It has a hook (something that strikes them as interesting, wanting them to learn more and/or talk to you) and a compliance test (something they must do in order to be rewarded with a call back, email, etc.).

A2 = Sorting

This is your initial conversation. You must be a little stand off-ish. Even if you're excited to have a prospect, you must not show it. This part of the conversation will include demonstration of:

• High value -- embedding DHV spikes in your stories without actually telling the prospect how great/successful you are (more on stories/DHV spikes in another post)
  
• Standards -- you don't work with/select just anyone, you're after more than just money (again through the use of stories, not just telling the prospect outright, though that may sometimes happen)
• Frame control/leadership -- you do not jump through the prospect's hoops, they jump through yours

This phase includes bait (making them want to talk to/work with you) and a compliance test (answering your questions). When they begin to tell you about themselves, they are hooked and move to the next phase.

A3 = Qualifying

Here is where the prospect clamors for your attention by trying to qualify themselves--they start telling you why they're so great and why you should talk to them more (demonstrating their level of seriousness, their work ethic, etc.). You reward them with demonstration of interest (reel), but with caution -- you are interested, but don't know yet whether you really want to work with them (release). You need more time to really talk and find out who they are, so you give them a compliance test (close the door so we can be alone, make another appointment to talk later when there aren't distractions, grab a pen, etc.).

Conversation

C1 = Comfort

This is where you really find out what the prospect is like: what they like to do, whether they have a family/kids, etc. Do the two of you get along? Would you have them over for dinner? During the conversation, you will build rapport (or you won't). As you find you like each other and you get along, you develop a connection, and move to the next phase.

C2 = Connection

A connection is when you find that yes, you like each other and "it is on." The prospect loves talking with you and doesn't want to stop--and you feel the same way. You both hope you get to work and travel together.

C3 = Intimacy

Once a solid connection is felt, you can feel comfortable asking the prospect about their deepest desires. Why, really, do they want to own their own business? What's it going to do for them? How is it going to feel to have that kind of life? The trick here is to get them to actually feel that feeling while they are talking to you. The more you do this, the more they will associate that feeling with you.

Sale

S1 = Presentation

Once the prospect has divulged their deepest desires and associated them with you, you can lead them to find out how they are going to achieve those desires by working with you and your company. This is done via a sales presentation.

S2 = LMB (Last Minute Backout)

Last minute backout is when, after the presentation, the prospect starts giving objections or excuses as to why they can't join the business (I don't have the money, I need to talk to my spouse, etc.). More on how to handle these will be in another post; however, the more solid your game--the more the prospect feels a connection to you and feels that you can provide them with a way to achieve their dreams--the less resistance you will encounter. The prospect will rationalize for themselves that they can overcome whatever is in their way, and you won't have to do or say anything. At this point, any resistance you do receive may just be token resistance or ASD (anti-scam defense).

S3 = Close/Get Paid

The prospect signs up, buys the product, gets started, etc. Remember, you must continue to game them until you have received all that you can receive. If they just bought the first level product, continue gaming them until they buy the top level product. If they can bring you training sales or residual sales, keep gaming until this happens. Note that this is not about greed and manipulation--it's about providing them with a valuable product or skill that is going to better their lives. As Mystery always says, "Getting picked up by a PUA is a privilege."

Sequencing Mistakes

"Illustrated thus simply, the linear relationship between attraction, comfort, and seduction seems intuitive and self-evident. Yet pickup artists the world over have repeatedly struggled with problems that arise from improper M3 sequencing."

The same can be said for network marketers.

• Sequencing Mistake #1: To Start at the End

Network marketers got a bad rap in the beginning by trying to peddle their product on everyone that had a wallet, trying to convince (or bully!) them to try their product or get started in their business without knowing anything about them. This is one of the ways people have developed strong ASDs.

• Sequencing Mistake #2: To Start in the Middle

As network marketers got smarter, they then moved to trying to schmooze prospects first, becoming their "friend" without any apparent reason why. Of course, the prospects can see why--they just want to butter them up so they can get into their wallet!

• Sequencing Mistake #3: To Start at the Beginning, but Skip the Middle and Go Straight to the End.

A1 --> S1 Advertising, getting a prospect, and then trying to "sell" them or schedule them for a presentation without building comfort first.

A1 --> C3 Why would a prospect tell you their hopes and dreams (intimate stuff, really) before getting to know you?

This sequencing mistake is the major cause of phone flakes.

• Sequencing Mistake #4: To Start at the Beginning but Get Stuck in the Middle

This happens when you have built a level of comfort with your prospect, but you fail to invite them to a presentation or "monetize" the relationship. This usually has to do with your inner game: you believe you're not good enough (they wouldn't want to work with you), you believe that monetizing the relationship would spoil it, you believe that making money is wrong, you avoided the topic earlier and now it seems weird, etc. More on inner game in a later post.

Ah yes, it's ALL coming together. I am so excited to go out into the field this coming week! :o)

Phone Flakes

Conversation

A wide conversational rapport

A sense of comfort and trust

A sense that this interaction is real and genuine

A feeling of connection

-- Mystery

Do you ever schedule someone to attend a presentation and then never hear from them again?  Either they don't show up for the presentation at all, or they do but never call you back or return your calls?  Dani Johnson, one of my network marketing mentors, used to say that it was because you didn't build enough rapport with them before you scheduled them to attend the presentation.

I understood that on an intellectual level, but I couldn't seem to translate it into talking with my prospects--from my end I thought we were having good conversations.  Looking back, however, I can see that I was trying to force it--I wasn't really and truly connecting with them.

Anyway, I was reading The Mystery Method this morning, and here's what he has to say on the topic:

"The Game is played in comfort [his emphasis].  Everything else was merely to get to this point...In the future, when she is deciding to whether to return your phone call, you don't want her thinking, Jeez, all we really had to talk about was dog food and petting our dogs; we didn't really connect on a conversational level.  Plus, I made out with him [PUMA translation:  we talked about money], so I know he's going to want more of that, but I don't even know this guy...I just don't feel comfortable with this right now."

Pay attention to what Mystery says next:

"This reason is exactly why so many phone numbers are flakes--not enough comfort.  Thus it's important to have fun, natural conversations with girls, using wide rapport and multiple conversational threads.  When she looks back on that conversation, she should be thinking about how much she enjoyed talking with you and looks forward to doing so again."

My emphasis.  'Nuf said.

More notes...

I am working on developing the PUMA terminology--what is analogous to the PUA terms, etc.--and am planning on putting a full list here.  Here's just a few to get started:

PUA  (pick up artist) -->  PUMA (pick up money artist)

Laid --> Paid (thanks, Solid!)

AFC (average frustrated chump) -->  BFC (broke frustrated chump)

Sex/Seduction -->  Sale

ASD (anti-slut defense) -->  ASD (anti-scam defense)

HB (hot babe) -->  HP (hot prospect)

F Close (f#$@ close, or full close) -->  Full Close (sale at highest level--with the highest commission)

3-Way (having 3 sexual partners at one time, usually 2 girls and 1 guy) -->  3-Way (bringing in a wing to DHV you, answer questions from the prospect, and handle LMB)

Other notes:

Never tell a prospect your accomplishments directly--embed them in stories (more on this in another post).  Only your wing should tell the prospect how great you are, otherwise it will sound like you're bragging and trying too hard.

You test the prospect for compliance.  The prospect tests you for congruence.  (More on this in another post.)

Never answer a question from a prospect first--it lowers your value and weakens your frame because it means you jumped through their hoop.  Answer a question with a question, so the prospect jumps through your hoop first--it shows who's in control.  After they have jumped through your hoop, go ahead and answer the question--you don't want to come across rude and conceited.  Here are some examples:

Prospect:  Is this sales/MLM?

You:  Is that what you're looking for?

Prospect:  How much money have you made?

You:  How much money do I need to make in order for you to be successful?

Prospect:  How much is this going to cost/do I have to pay anything?

You:  Is that how you're going to make your decision?

BTW, many network marketing trainers teach to ask these same questions, but they phrase it as "qualifying the question," i.e. your frame is that you don't understand what exactly they are asking or why they are asking it.  I prefer Mystery's take on it:  Who's in control here?

That's it for now.

What if....?

OK, I gotta run in a minute (real time constraint, not false...ha ha ha!), but I want to jot down something I was thinking.

So the normal course of events is this:

• Prospect answers an ad
  
• Player calls prospect and has a conversation
  
• If the prospect qualifies, they are scheduled to attend a presentation
  
• Next comes the follow up, questions answered, possible 3-way, closing question
• Prospect is in or out

In this model, the player really only interacts with the prospect twice--before the presentation and after the presentation (not including the virtual interaction in the ad/website, etc.).  Is this enough time to really build trust and comfort?  In my experience, many people flake:  either they fail to attend the presentation or they fail to call back for the follow up (they fail their compliance tests!--more on that later).  One of my mentors says that always means that you failed to build rapport with them.  Or, as Mystery puts it, they are not invested in the interaction--they don't feel any obligation to you.  (FYI, Mystery doesn't like the term "rapport" because it's not specific enough.  He prefers "trust and comfort.")

So in the old model, you're scrunching the majority of the steps into one:

• A1 - Attraction (they answer the ad)
• A2 - Prospect's Indicators of Interest, A3 - Player's Indicators of Interest, C1 - Comfort, C2 - Connection, C3 - Intimacy (in just one intial conversation you are qualifying, getting indicators of interest, building trust and comfort -- all in just 10 minutes (?))
• S1 - Foreplay (the presentation)
• S2 - LMB (objections)
• S3 - Sex (getting started)

It's like you're trying to go from 10 minutes of conversation to full on sex.  That may work with with some, but the majority are not going to feel comfortable with it.

So what if, instead, you had little "dates" with the prospect.  Acclimate them to having phone conversations with you (which they would if they got started with you), let them get comfortable with you.  What if the model was this:

• Prospect answers an ad (A1)
• Player has an initial, quick conversation, includes a false time constraint to prevent really going into detail--just determines whether there is enough there to warrant another conversation or "date" to get to know each other better--player shows disinterest, prospect qualifies themselves and is "rewarded" with another conversation later (A2-A3)
• Player and prospect talk again, this time building comfort and connection--who is this person?  What are they like?  Do you guys enjoy each other's company and get along?  Could you work together?  (C1-C2)
• Once comfort and connection is felt (either in the same conversation or in yet another "date"), the player gets the prospect to open up about hopes and dreams--really feels it on an emotional level and connects that feeling with talking to the player (C3)
• The prospect attends the presentation (S1)
• 3-way (S2)
• Getting started (S3)

OK, so I really gotta run.  These are just some notes.  More later.

Are You a Collector?

I ran across a blog post from Ross Jeffries this morning. He was introducing a joint venture with Style--which is somewhat surpising since Style painted a pretty unflattering picture of him in The Game. Apparently he's gotten over it.

Anyway, Ross describes Style as having "a very unusual business model that I think can facilitate learning and avoid the “collect it but don’t use it” trap." He then goes on to say, "You see, one of the things I’ve noticed over the years is that many students of this field are collectors. They’ve got stuff from me, stuff from a bazillion imitators and impersonators, they are seminar junkies, product junkies etc but...

... They Don’t F#$&ing Do Anything With It!"

Wow. Sounds just like network marketing! (Again.) I remember researching Bob Doyle's Wealth Beyond Reason program, and he says specifically on his website NOT to enroll "if you're the type of person who "collects programs" on their shelves - virtual or otherwise - but never really gets around to DOING them - don't waste your time with this course."

I really do fit into that category--I have bought so many programs and read so many books and attended so many seminars and listened to so many audio programs over the years...I haven't really gotten into the business of doing business! I have been "getting ready to get ready," as they say.

One of the things I love about the PUA community is the emphasis on FIELD TESTING. Mystery calls it "calibration"--which is basically the concept of getting better and better through the application of what you're learning.

So, right now I'm kind of stuck because I have company from out of town and haven't been able to get out there and sarge. Countdown 8 days--hold me to it!

Solid is in The Game!

So I got a call from my friend, Solid, today. This is one of my best friends in the business--the only person besides my spouse that I had told about my obsession with PUA. Just when I was thinking "I wish I had a wing," Solid had called and asked me if I would help with a project. And was there anything I needed?

Since I had already told Solid a little bit about PUA, I said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I need a wing..." and said I would send an email with instructions.

So that's all it was--until today.

As we were talking, I mentioned the PUMA project. The more I talked, the more Solid became intrigued.

"Wow, I would really like to learn more about that--I mean, I would REALLY like to learn it."

So Solid is in! I'm excited what the two of us will discover as we merge these two ideas of PUA and network marketing together. Awesome!

12/31 Field Report - New Year's Eve Party

My first field report (sort of). I just got back from a New Year's Eve party and wanted to jot down something I learned.

Mystery says never to drink alcohol when gaming--you want to keep your mind sharp. What I realized tonight is that you shouldn't eat either.

We got to the party and I basically ignored everyone (other than obligatory waving from across the room) so I could get some food. I walked into the dining room and before I could get to the table, a friend opened me and we started talking. I actually told her I wanted to talk to her more, but I had to get some food--I turned her down in favor of the food!

I got my plate and she had moved to a five set on the couches. I joined them, but spent most of the time eating. Then I got up to to get some more. Then I got up to get some more. Then I was thirsty. I spent so much time focussing on feeding my face that I hardly talked to anyone!

So, if you're going to sarge, make sure you've already eaten, quenched your thirst, and gone to the bathroom. You want to be focussed on other people, not yourself.

P.S. OK, so I used a lot of slang in this post. Eventually I'll be putting together my own guide, as I build my own network marketing/pua slang (like BFC=Broke Frustrated Chump). For now, you can use this site for reference for strictly PUA slang:
http://www.fastseduction.com/acronyms.shtml
(also a good website for general PUA info)