Field Report - Kristen

Please note that I am now using the following abbreviations for the prospecting phases, similar to but different from the PUA equivalent. I am calling this ABC Prospecting:

A - Attract	B - Bond	C - Close
A1 - Advertising	B1 - Comfort	C1 - Sales Presentation
A2 - Sorting	B2 - Connection	C2 - Follow Up
A3 - Qualifying	B3 - Intimacy	C3 - Payment

I just got off the phone with Kristen, and I wanted to write this up real quick--it's a perfect example of what not to do!  Ack!  OK, maybe it wasn't that bad.  Here's what happened:

When someone has clicked on my website, but not opted in, I send them a postcard at the end of the month. Kristen called because she had received the postcard.  She was very guarded and said, "I got a postcard and it said to call you."

I had not prepared for such a call! I said, "How're you doing today?" And she said, "Fine." -- very guarded. I said, "Really? You sound a little tired or something." She laughed, I said, "Ah! I got you to laugh...that's good." (I'm still scrambling to get my bearings and collect my notes). "So what do you do now?," I asked. She said "I watch my 4 year old, and it doesn't pay very well." We both laughed, and I followed up with "Do you have any other kids?" And we talked about that for a little bit. Notice what I was doing wrong here --> I TOTALLY skipped the attraction phase and tried to build comfort! Of course she was guarded! She had no investment in the interaction. She had no reason to be on her best behavior.

Eventually, I got set up and back tracked to A1 questions: So what attracted you to my postcard...what made you want to call me? By then, however, she had lost trust in me and started badgering me with questions. "What is this? The postcard doesn't say anything." I told her there was a website on the front of the card and then said, "Let me just back up a little bit and tell you why you got the card." After I did that I said, "So Kristen, since the ad you responded to was pretty general, let me tell you a little but about me and what I'm looking for, then we can see if we might have a good fit here. Sound good?"

"Okay..." -- very guarded.

So I went into my little pitch, which included a DHV spike, and ended with "What I'm really looking for is..." and "Does that sound like you?"

She said, "What is it?"

I said again, "Does that sound like you?"

She said, "No, not really." So I said, "OK, then what I would recommend is that you visit the website on the front of the card, find out a little bit more about me and what I'm about, and if you find that you want to talk again, you have my number."

She said, "OK, sounds good." Now she seemed very happy (because I didn't try to sell her or convince her of anything? possibly...), and she wished me a good day.

Yikes! What could I have done differently?

Well, I should have immediately taken control of the frame. I could have asked, "Kristen, is the postcard addressed to you?" If so, I could have made her wait while I pulled up her record. If no, I could have pulled up the person it WAS addressed to and changed it. Then when I asked her "And why did you want to talk to me today (what attracted you to the card, etc.)?" Then, "And what's the main reason you're looking for a business of your own?"

THEN I could have responded with "Let me tell you a little bit about me and what I'm looking for..."

She may have had the same reaction...still answered no to "Does that sound like you?"...but at least I wouldn't feel so yucky. At least I would have been in control.

Ah well, live and learn. Or live and calibrate, as Mystery would say.

Play Solid Game

Yesterday Solid asked me on our call about what to do/say in a follow-up/closing conversation--and I realized we hadn't figured that out yet! So I started reading some of my favorite books for the answer. In reading about Mid-Game and End-Game in The Mystery Method, I ran across the following. Mystery is talking about LMR (Last Minute Resistance), but it is amazingly applicable, of course, to reasons why you may not make a sale (or encounter objections), when everything seemed to be going to well. PUMA translations in [green].

Play Solid Game

Her emotional circuitry is designed to select for a high-value man whom she trusts and with whom she pairbonds [the same is true for us--a prospect needs to value us and trust us]. If your game is tight, last-minute resistance will be greatly reduced as an issue. So examine your basic game:

• Are you a healthy, ambitious, socially comfortable person?
• Do you convey a lack of neediness at all times?
• Have you otherwise demonstrated value via preselection [they know that other people have worked with you--this can be fellow associates, it doesn't have to be a downline "team" (they won't know the difference)], the leader-of-men switch (social intelligence and social proof), emotional stimulation, frame control, and so on?
• Has she chased [qualified] and otherwise invested in the interaction?
• Have you been compliance testing? Do you have kino escalation and compliance? [Sorry, haven't figured out an analogy for kino (touching)!]
• Does she feel that she has earned your interest? [Again, qualifying/proving herself--understanding that you don't just take anyone.]
• Have you built comfort and trust, and a sense of connection, over seven hours [not sure that it takes this long in network marketing--haven't tested it] and several venue changes ["venue" changes include your advertising, your initial conversation, the presentation, and the follow up]?

P.S. Use of the term "Solid Game" has nothing to do with my pal, Solid. :o)

Michael Jordan Quote

Here is the Michael Jordan quote I mentioned on our call yesterday:

I've missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I've lost almost three hundred games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that's why I succeed.

See also some great Mystery quotes in my post on Process Over Outcome.

It really is just about practicing over and over and over.

4 Attraction Switches

This is the Mystery video that Solid and I were talking about the other day on our call. In addition to indicators of interest, Mystery defines four "attraction switches" that are hard wired into women. If you can demonstrate these four qualities, a woman will automatically be attracted to you--she can't help it...it's instinct. They are:

1. pre-selection by other women (having other clients besides them)
2. leader of men
3. protector of loved ones
4. willingness to emote (not being fake and happy all the time--being real)

Are these the same attraction switches for prospects? I think they are.


By the way, watch the girl on Mystery's left. Solid said the first time she watched this video, she was distracted and annoyed by all the stuff going on in the room. But after I told her to watch for the attraction switches, she decided to watch it again and ONLY watch the girls. Notice how the girl on the left never moves--until Mystery negs her. Then suddenly she is fidgety and can't keep her hands off herself. Disinterest is pretty powerful stuff!

StyleLife Challenge Day 5

From Rules of the Game: Master the Game in 30 Days by Neil Strauss.

Yikes! I am soooo behind in this. So much for mastering it in 30 days! Just the missions is a good reminder that I need to be well groomed always--so much for spending the day in my robe, like I mentioned on our call. Anyway, back on track. I finished Mission 1 awhile ago. The rest are more recent.

Mission 1: Here Comes the Groom

Read briefing. Perform at least one item.

This was a great one for me, because I will admit I have gotten VERY lax about my grooming--it's so easy when you do all your work on the phone. I mean, I take a shower every day and brush my teeth, of course, but I haven't really gone beyond that.

This morning I shaved (even though I shaved yesterday), I did body sugar scrub, gave myself two facials, tweezed some eyebrow hair, brushed and flossed my teeth, and got dressed WITH shoes. I have to admit, I feel like a million bucks. It is definitely time to start doing this every day (well, maybe not to the full extent!). How you feel certainly affects how you act. Again, stuff I've been told many times before, but never took seriously.

BTW, another thing on the list is to get a pedicure. My feet have been so rough this winter that I have been loooonging to get one. Now I have it as an assignment! Woo hoo! I will get one THIS WEEK. Yay!!!!!

Oh, and two other things on the list are to exercise and eat healthier. Done!

Mission 2: Make a Change

Get a free style consultation.

This is something I am definitely looking forward to doing after I have slimmed down--I often feel quite frumpy and would like to look more polished on a regular basis.  I am losing weight and working on my body consistently in order to gear up for an 800 mile bike ride that I'll be participating in in September.  It's going to be a huge media event, and I will be spending a lot of time in front of the camera--both for print and TV--so I want to look my best.  I already have someone in mind whose style I admire that I plan to ask to help me shop this summer.  But I'm not waiting until I have lost all the weight to start improving.  I've already begun to open up to women I admire and compliment them on their style.  It's amazing how that mission about asking for shoe advice really helped.

[BTW, guess what?  The girl I asked about the shoes came up to me at our game last week and said, "You know, I have an extra pair of shoes that you can have, if you want--I don't know why I didn't think about it when we were talking last week."  Right on!  She just saved me $100!!!!]

Anyway, I did send a rather embarrassing email (this whole challenge is about breaking out of your comfort zone, right?) to a friend of mine who always looks so put together.  I asked her once why she always looked so good even late in the day, and she said, "Well, I freshen."

My mother was a tomboy, so I never learned these girly things, so I asked my friend how often she "freshens" and what all she does.  I haven't heard back yet--I'm interested to hear what she says.

Mission 3

Brush up on one of the previous exercises--visualization, affirmation, posture, etc.  Done.  I have done the affirmation in the mirror several times--it's really good.  Have also been focusing on my posture.

Mission 4

Lay out any new clothes for tomorrow's mission.  n/a -- no new clothes yet.

Crazy Sex & Selling Video Man

Here is the video Solid and I were talking about yesterday on our call. He might be teaching true selling principles, but he sure ain't demonstrating them. I didn't feel romanced by his pitch in the slightest. Sheesh!

Solid's Field Report -2/9

NOTE:  Solid doesn't have the ability to update the blog yet, so I'm just posting what I got in an email.

3 leads today:

1 – disqualified – just looking for a job, just curious

2- left message

3 – asked questions, looking to go from 10k per year to 7 figures, negged her about how that could be possible, said it’s her time.  told her I sift and sort (not everyone is cut out to make that jump) and asked for 3 quailifying characteristics – she has a degree in economics, so I talked about the secret being a market indicator, etc. booked her to a call tonight and told her to call me back after 5 tomorrow (busy day)  so I’ll keep you posted.  *I think she did a good job of qualifying herself, but I never did get her to say “exactly” ;(

Sounds like Solid had a great Attraction phase, but I wondered about the Bonding phase.  Here's the reply I got:

I didn't do very well with the bonding/ connecting phase.  I forgot to give
my feedback in her words.  I re-interpreted based on my own experiences,
judgements, prejudices and thoughts (which is a huge no-no according to
Michael Oliver)  I've got to quit using my own phrases, and feed their words
back to them verbatim

Still, Solid called me last night to say that this prospect HAD called back and DID commit to getting started.  Right on!  Solid's first sign up using the method...

Field Report 2/6

Please note that I am now using the following abbreviations for the prospecting phases, similar to but different from the PUA equivalent. I am calling this ABC Prospecting:

A - Attract	B - Bond	C - Close
A1 - Advertising	B1 - Comfort	C1 - Sales Presentation
A2 - Sorting	B2 - Connection	C2 - Objections/Resistance
A3 - Qualifying	B3 - Intimacy	C3 - Payment

Ran my advertising and had 3 voicemails to return.

M. from Tennessee
Went through all of the phases like clockwork and we seemed to get along, but when we got to B3, I told her the Rage to Master story and asked, "So, M., really the only question that matters is, do you have the Rage to Master?" She answered, "Well..." and then went on to describe how she was old and she didn't really want to work that hard.  I was so excited!!!!!  I was thrilled to have this "magic" way to disqualify someone!  Now I didn't have schedule her to the call, be on the call, follow up with her, and waste my time and energy hoping she'll get started.  I have never been so excited to get a "no"!  Wow.  What a great tool.

A. from New York

This guy and I hit it off really well.  We went through the whole process exactly as designed, and when I told him the Rage to Master story, he answered with a resounding "YES!"  What a difference from M!  So I scheduled him to the call--it's interesting to note that he resisted getting the information from someone else.  I think the method worked a little too well and he developed a little crush on me.  More evidence of that later.  Anyway, I followed up with him after the call.  Unfortunately, he didn't seem to "get it."  Perhaps because he was not a native English speaker?  Also, when we were talking it was right before the top of the hour (when the call started), so I didn't have a chance to frame him by telling him to "listen for"--will be sure to do that next time.  Anyway, I tried to do a 3-way with Solid, but got voicemail.  Again, when I mentioned to A. that I was bringing in someone else, he asked why I couldn't just answer his question--another indicator that he was a kind of stuck on me.  Sure, I have gotten this from prospects in the past, but I just had this vibe from A--you'll see why in a minute.  So I told A. that I thought he was confused and didn't understand the opportunity (otherwise he would jump at it--wouldn't anyone?) and suggested he visit my website to learn more (was also able to DHV by mentioning that I am in one of the company videos) and I said I would call him on Monday.  So Monday comes and I call him.  I had been thinking that the best way to deal with this guy is to use the takeaway--to see if he would argue and qualify himself.  So, when we talk, we chat for awhile and then I say, "You know, A., I was thinking about you over the weekend, and I, you know, I just don't think you would be a good fit for this business."  AND HE AGREED!  Interesting...we talked more and it turns out that he's into all these other deals and he has all these ideas--and I realize that he's just not that focussed.  He doesn't, in fact, have the Rage.  If he did, he would focus on one thing and not stop until he had mastered it.  When I called him on this, he whined about how I didn't understand what it was like to be an immigrant, how citizens have all these benefits that they don't, etc., etc.  Excuses, excuses.  Solid quoted someone to me the other day who said, "If you need an excuse, any one will do."

The good news is that since this guy is so in love with me, he is researching all about me and bought a copy of my book.  So...I was able to monetize him a little.  And he wants to remain in contact.  So there is still hope.

Irish from ?

Left message by mistake.  Not interested.

Field Report 2/9

Please note that I am now using the following abbreviations for the prospecting phases, similar to but different from the PUA equivalent. I am calling this ABC Prospecting:

A - Attract	B - Bond	C - Close
A1 - Advertising	B1 - Comfort	C1 - Sales Presentation
A2 - Sorting	B2 - Connection	C2 - Objections/Resistance
A3 - Qualifying	B3 - Intimacy	C3 - Payment

Ran my advertising and had 2 voicemails. Also called two people who had tried to contact me through my website--left one voicemail and had one conversation, which is described below:

G. from Louisiana

Disqualified at A2--was not looking for a business, just someone to talk to.

D. from Maryland

Had a tough time with this guy.  He likes to make jokes, talk cryptically--it was difficult to get serious answers from him during A2.  At the end of A2, he tried to break my frame by asking me about the business.  I responded by saying that, as he heard on my message, now was not the time to go into that.  Now is the time for us to get to know one another and see if we like each other and want to work together.  He apologized, and we proceeded with B1 questions.

Honestly, I didn't feel comfortable with B1 because, although we were joking a lot, I didn't feel like I was breaking through with him.  Didn't neg him, really, because I didn't feel a connection.  Although I never felt a solid B2, I proceeded with B3, which, to my surprise he answered deeply and honestly.  I could really feel in his voice how badly he wanted what he described.

I proceeded to Rage to Master and didn't really like his answer at first--he didn't say "YES!".  Rather, he proceeded to say that he didn't like that phrase and preferred to use "Message to Garcia."  Ultimately, though, he said, "Yes, that's me."

So, I scheduled him to the call, though I'm still not sure about him.

UPDATE:  D. called me back after the call and said, "I just wanted to call you back real quick because you were so nice and friendly..." (BINGO--This is exactly what the Bonding phase is about...getting the prospect to feel a sense of connection and therefore obligation to you.)  "But I'm not looking for an MLM."  Now, my gut reaction was to argue and say, "But we're not an MLM!"  Instead, thanks to my PUMA/PUA training, I said, "So what gave you the impression that we were an MLM?  What experience do you have with MLMs to be able to say that?"  He then backpeddled and said, "Well, you can call it whatever you want, but the idea is that you sell a product and you make money getting other people to sell a product, and that's just not for me."

Now, I could have just let him go, but instead I decided to take the conversation further and said, "So what is it that you're looking for?"  His answers shocked me.  He said stuff like "Well, I really want to help people," "I'm good on the phone," and--get this--he actually said that his dream business included doing "exactly what you do--talking to people about their problems, getting down to what they really want, and providing a solution."  Yes, he said the words "exactly what you do"!!  And when he said he hoped to move to Australia in the next year, I said, "So why wouldn't you want a business that is portable and that you can take with you all over the world?"

Sigh.  He just didn't get it.  And I guess I just have to leave it at that.  He just didn't get it.  That's just some people, I suppose.

S. from the Internet

Disqualified at A2.  Very negative, "disenchanted," was the word he used.  He has been unsuccessful in other deals (including mine, I think) and did not take any personal responsibility for it--blaming the business, people were lying about their success, etc.

Is your goal PURE?

Found this awesome video and thought it was a great tool for prospecting. Find out if someone is really serious about their goals--don't waste time with people who aren't.