The Power of Focus

"Man--she was all over you."

"She was?"

"Girl Candy, the woman had her hands between her legs, pressing against her thighs. She was looking for someone to f^%$ and that someone was you."

"Really?"

"So what's your plan? Do you want to take her home?"

"I don't know..."

"Do you want her phone number?"

"Um..."

"Are you going to ask her out? Are you going to take her home? What are you going to do?"

This was the conversation between Girl Candy and Cuisine, his coach.

Girl Candy seemed excited, but confused.

A few minutes earlier he had pulled me over to pivot for him as he approached these two HBs (hot babes). One thing about Girl Candy--he has no fear, none of the approach anxiety that paralyzes so many newbies. But then, Girl Candy isn't exactly a newbie. When Cuisine first told me about him, he said that he is very good, but not a PUA. I had hung out with him twice before, but I had never seen him operate.

Now I understand that he is naturally good with women (attractive and exotic, so that helps, too), but he doesn't know technique. For example, he doesn't know how to use a pivot.

So Girl Candy pulled me over to the bar next to these two girls. We laughed about nothing and he "accidentally" bumped into one of them (good move!). Then in a few minutes, he went over to them and opened the set. At first, they busted his balls pretty well and were quite rude. It didn't phase him and he kept on. Eventually one of the girls turned her back and left the conversation. I stood there like a third wheel.

I kept looking around for Cuisine and tried to think of a reason to leave, but Girl Candy kept bringing me back into the set. The target was still being pretty demanding/rude to him, clearly demonstrating her power. If Girl Candy could put her in her place, he'd be golden, but I was afraid he was just being evasive and failing.

Finally, Cuisine rescued me. He pulled me out of the set and as we stood there he continued to watch them over my shoulder. I told Cuisine I was afraid Girl Candy wasn't doing very well, but Cuisine begged to differ.

"Are you kidding me? She is IOIing him like crazy! Her hands are all over her throat. Now her hands are all over her thighs." It must have started after I got pulled out, because I didn't see any of that--and I pride myself on being good at reading body language (when I pay attention). All I saw was her pushing him around.

But would Girl Candy pull the trigger?

Cuisine took me to another part of the bar where we talked and waited.

Girl Candy finally came over and we debriefed--hence the above conversation between the two of them.

Cuisine kept pushing him--"You could do anything with that girl right now--what do you want to do? What's your goal?"

He didn't know. He didn't even know who his target was when he opened the set, and he certainly didn't have a planned outcome.

He said, "I just want to see how it flows."

That's the difference between a PUA and everyone else. A PUA has a plan. A PUA is focussed. A PUA knows in advance what he's going to do and does it. It doesn't work with every girl (Cuisine later got a major blowout from an attractive Asian girl--I think, like me, he gets a kick out of getting people to smile when they look sour or distracted; unfortunately, her expression of boredom (and disgust?) never changed.), but it works.

A PUA has a system. They follow the system, they leave as little as possible to chance, and they get laid.

Girl Candy, on the other hand, like so many other guys, flies by the seat of his pants--a point that Cuisine would emphasize over and over throughout the course of the evening.

Yesterday, Solid and I listened to a company training call where "Didi"--one of the millionaire leaders that we study--was the guest speaker. She talked about the recent Kentucky Derby and the huge upset of a horse that was the underdog--odds of winning 50 to 1--coming from behind to take the title. Didi talked about having blinders on in our business, just like the horses do. She talked about not looking from side to side and getting distracted by what is going on around you, but just focussing and running straight ahead.

Paul Janka, who we have also been studying, does this very thing, too. As he says, he has "codified" his system, and he applies it with determined focus. He does not leave his encounters to chance. He meets a girl and gets a number within 45 seconds. He texts her and invites her over. When she comes over, everything is prepared for sex--because he does not hope that she will sleep with him, he expects it.

Imagine the power of applying is same focus in our business, instead of leaving things to chance and just "seeing how it flows," as Girl Candy said.

PUAs focus on applying the system over and over and over. As a consequence, they get laid over and over and over.

As we focus on applying our system in the same way, we will get paid over and over and over.

It's practically guaranteed.