Never Argue

This is normally the type of thing that Solid and I would talk about on our call, but she has been busy with other things lately, and we haven't had a chance to chat--so I thought I would just jot this down real quick.

Yesterday at church, one of the counselors in the bishopric told an interesting story, and yet again I thought how well life reflects the art of seduction.

Brother C. said that when he was young he had a stake president who was very stoic. He was somber, rarely cracked a smile, and was kind of scary and intimidating to a teenager.

So when the Brother C. went in for his missionary interview, he was a little on edge.

During the interview the stake president looked Brother C. in the eye and asked him pointedly, "So Elder, you're on your mission and your companion announces one day that he is going to go to the movies. What do you do?"

Brother C. said that he gave what he thought was the right answer, "Oh, I would NEVER go to the movies--absolutely not. I would refuse."

To which the stake president replied, "Wrong answer. Never leave your companion. You tell the elder that you will go with him to the movies, but after it's over he will have 5 minutes, and either he will call the mission president or you will."

Fast forward one year and Brother C. found himself on his mission, in his white shirt and tie, on the subway with his companion, in jeans, high top sneakers, and a cowboy hat, headed toward a bad situation.

All the arguing the world would not convince this companion to stop what he was about to do.

Suddenly, Brother C. remembered the words of his stake president and he said, "Elder, you go ahead and go, and I'll go with you. But five minutes after it's over, either you'll call the mission president or I will."

The companion was angry, but at the next subway stop he got off and headed back home.

This story reminded me of Mystery's last minute backout technique of agreement. He says that whenever you argue with someone, you give them traction to strengthen their own side.

So, when a girl says, "We should stop--my parents will hear us," instead of saying, "Don't worry, they can't hear us," you should say, "You're absolutely right, we should stop"--and keep going. Let HER be the one to put on the brakes.

What I learned from Brother C's story is that refusing to argue can be used not only to get what you DO want, but also to prevent what you DON'T want.

Moral: Never argue. Period.