LAS VEGAS

According to Neil Strauss, aka Style and author of "The Game," women look for eight specific things when deciding who to mate with. The same can be said of prospects, and you can remember them with the acronym LAS VEGAS:

L - Looks. Looks are important, but only one piece of the puzzle. And genetic looks aren't really the more important thing. It's about being well-groomed, not sloppy and dirty.

A - Adaptability. Don't be uptight. Have humor and spontaneity. Don't mistake it for adventurous--you don't have to be adventurous, just adaptable.

S - Strength. Decisiveness, non-wussiness. They look for people who can take care of them, who can do stuff, who can get stuff done. Useful practical knowledge. Being assertive. Includes having values and moral strength. Certainty.

V - Value. Why should this person hang out with you? Join you? Want to be with you? What do you offer?

E - Emotional Connection. That magic factor. Chemistry.

G - Goals. Be a person who is going somewhere. Ambition.

A - Authenticity. Being congruent with your image. Who you are in the outside is who you are on the inside. Not fake.

S - Self Worth. Confidence. High status behavior. Non-neediness. Feeling worthy.

Process Over Outcome

Well, I'm back in the field today.  The holidays are over, my company is gone, and I have no more excuses.  Time to try this stuff out--I even have three leads that came out of nowhere and are waiting for my call.

Amazingly, despite how excited I am to master this game, I am feeling an overwhelming amount of approach anxiety.  So I open up the book to read what Mystery says to do about it, and instead find this section:

---

Process Over Outcome

    A Venusian artist goes into the field night after night primarily to improve his calibration and to internalize his skill set.  You're not trying to "get this one girl" or even "get laid tonight."  Rather, you practice with the long-term goal of having a powerful social skill set in the future, one you may confidently turn on in times of need.  When you don't need it, you don't use it.  When you do, you're ready.

    You cannot allow the outcome of any given approach to carry much significance...It's like playing a video game:  If your man dies, just hit the reload button and play again.  If the outcome of any specific approach becomes too important to you, it'll have subtle, insidious effects on your game and compromise you win.  You really do have to not care.

The one who releases himself from the emotional attachment to a desired outcome is, ironically, the one most likely to realize that outcome.

---

Um, do I really have to translate?

BTW, here's a quote from the approach anxiety section:  "Confidence is not the objective.  Competence is."

It's Starting to Come Together...

Wow. I'm almost done reading The Mystery Method for the first time (I intend to read it over and over!), and it's all starting to come together. Here's what I have so far. It is entirely in PUMA terms. For the PUA equivalent, see page 63 of the book.

The game is played in three phases: pickup (attraction), mid-game (conversation), and end-game (sale). Each phase has three phases of its own:

Attraction

A1 = Advertising

This is your ad, your website, your voice recording...basically anything that the prospect sees about you before you actually talk. It has a hook (something that strikes them as interesting, wanting them to learn more and/or talk to you) and a compliance test (something they must do in order to be rewarded with a call back, email, etc.).

A2 = Sorting

This is your initial conversation. You must be a little stand off-ish. Even if you're excited to have a prospect, you must not show it. This part of the conversation will include demonstration of:

• High value -- embedding DHV spikes in your stories without actually telling the prospect how great/successful you are (more on stories/DHV spikes in another post)
  
• Standards -- you don't work with/select just anyone, you're after more than just money (again through the use of stories, not just telling the prospect outright, though that may sometimes happen)
• Frame control/leadership -- you do not jump through the prospect's hoops, they jump through yours

This phase includes bait (making them want to talk to/work with you) and a compliance test (answering your questions). When they begin to tell you about themselves, they are hooked and move to the next phase.

A3 = Qualifying

Here is where the prospect clamors for your attention by trying to qualify themselves--they start telling you why they're so great and why you should talk to them more (demonstrating their level of seriousness, their work ethic, etc.). You reward them with demonstration of interest (reel), but with caution -- you are interested, but don't know yet whether you really want to work with them (release). You need more time to really talk and find out who they are, so you give them a compliance test (close the door so we can be alone, make another appointment to talk later when there aren't distractions, grab a pen, etc.).

Conversation

C1 = Comfort

This is where you really find out what the prospect is like: what they like to do, whether they have a family/kids, etc. Do the two of you get along? Would you have them over for dinner? During the conversation, you will build rapport (or you won't). As you find you like each other and you get along, you develop a connection, and move to the next phase.

C2 = Connection

A connection is when you find that yes, you like each other and "it is on." The prospect loves talking with you and doesn't want to stop--and you feel the same way. You both hope you get to work and travel together.

C3 = Intimacy

Once a solid connection is felt, you can feel comfortable asking the prospect about their deepest desires. Why, really, do they want to own their own business? What's it going to do for them? How is it going to feel to have that kind of life? The trick here is to get them to actually feel that feeling while they are talking to you. The more you do this, the more they will associate that feeling with you.

Sale

S1 = Presentation

Once the prospect has divulged their deepest desires and associated them with you, you can lead them to find out how they are going to achieve those desires by working with you and your company. This is done via a sales presentation.

S2 = LMB (Last Minute Backout)

Last minute backout is when, after the presentation, the prospect starts giving objections or excuses as to why they can't join the business (I don't have the money, I need to talk to my spouse, etc.). More on how to handle these will be in another post; however, the more solid your game--the more the prospect feels a connection to you and feels that you can provide them with a way to achieve their dreams--the less resistance you will encounter. The prospect will rationalize for themselves that they can overcome whatever is in their way, and you won't have to do or say anything. At this point, any resistance you do receive may just be token resistance or ASD (anti-scam defense).

S3 = Close/Get Paid

The prospect signs up, buys the product, gets started, etc. Remember, you must continue to game them until you have received all that you can receive. If they just bought the first level product, continue gaming them until they buy the top level product. If they can bring you training sales or residual sales, keep gaming until this happens. Note that this is not about greed and manipulation--it's about providing them with a valuable product or skill that is going to better their lives. As Mystery always says, "Getting picked up by a PUA is a privilege."

Sequencing Mistakes

"Illustrated thus simply, the linear relationship between attraction, comfort, and seduction seems intuitive and self-evident. Yet pickup artists the world over have repeatedly struggled with problems that arise from improper M3 sequencing."

The same can be said for network marketers.

• Sequencing Mistake #1: To Start at the End

Network marketers got a bad rap in the beginning by trying to peddle their product on everyone that had a wallet, trying to convince (or bully!) them to try their product or get started in their business without knowing anything about them. This is one of the ways people have developed strong ASDs.

• Sequencing Mistake #2: To Start in the Middle

As network marketers got smarter, they then moved to trying to schmooze prospects first, becoming their "friend" without any apparent reason why. Of course, the prospects can see why--they just want to butter them up so they can get into their wallet!

• Sequencing Mistake #3: To Start at the Beginning, but Skip the Middle and Go Straight to the End.

A1 --> S1 Advertising, getting a prospect, and then trying to "sell" them or schedule them for a presentation without building comfort first.

A1 --> C3 Why would a prospect tell you their hopes and dreams (intimate stuff, really) before getting to know you?

This sequencing mistake is the major cause of phone flakes.

• Sequencing Mistake #4: To Start at the Beginning but Get Stuck in the Middle

This happens when you have built a level of comfort with your prospect, but you fail to invite them to a presentation or "monetize" the relationship. This usually has to do with your inner game: you believe you're not good enough (they wouldn't want to work with you), you believe that monetizing the relationship would spoil it, you believe that making money is wrong, you avoided the topic earlier and now it seems weird, etc. More on inner game in a later post.

Ah yes, it's ALL coming together. I am so excited to go out into the field this coming week! :o)

Phone Flakes

Conversation

A wide conversational rapport

A sense of comfort and trust

A sense that this interaction is real and genuine

A feeling of connection

-- Mystery

Do you ever schedule someone to attend a presentation and then never hear from them again?  Either they don't show up for the presentation at all, or they do but never call you back or return your calls?  Dani Johnson, one of my network marketing mentors, used to say that it was because you didn't build enough rapport with them before you scheduled them to attend the presentation.

I understood that on an intellectual level, but I couldn't seem to translate it into talking with my prospects--from my end I thought we were having good conversations.  Looking back, however, I can see that I was trying to force it--I wasn't really and truly connecting with them.

Anyway, I was reading The Mystery Method this morning, and here's what he has to say on the topic:

"The Game is played in comfort [his emphasis].  Everything else was merely to get to this point...In the future, when she is deciding to whether to return your phone call, you don't want her thinking, Jeez, all we really had to talk about was dog food and petting our dogs; we didn't really connect on a conversational level.  Plus, I made out with him [PUMA translation:  we talked about money], so I know he's going to want more of that, but I don't even know this guy...I just don't feel comfortable with this right now."

Pay attention to what Mystery says next:

"This reason is exactly why so many phone numbers are flakes--not enough comfort.  Thus it's important to have fun, natural conversations with girls, using wide rapport and multiple conversational threads.  When she looks back on that conversation, she should be thinking about how much she enjoyed talking with you and looks forward to doing so again."

My emphasis.  'Nuf said.

More notes...

I am working on developing the PUMA terminology--what is analogous to the PUA terms, etc.--and am planning on putting a full list here.  Here's just a few to get started:

PUA  (pick up artist) -->  PUMA (pick up money artist)

Laid --> Paid (thanks, Solid!)

AFC (average frustrated chump) -->  BFC (broke frustrated chump)

Sex/Seduction -->  Sale

ASD (anti-slut defense) -->  ASD (anti-scam defense)

HB (hot babe) -->  HP (hot prospect)

F Close (f#$@ close, or full close) -->  Full Close (sale at highest level--with the highest commission)

3-Way (having 3 sexual partners at one time, usually 2 girls and 1 guy) -->  3-Way (bringing in a wing to DHV you, answer questions from the prospect, and handle LMB)

Other notes:

Never tell a prospect your accomplishments directly--embed them in stories (more on this in another post).  Only your wing should tell the prospect how great you are, otherwise it will sound like you're bragging and trying too hard.

You test the prospect for compliance.  The prospect tests you for congruence.  (More on this in another post.)

Never answer a question from a prospect first--it lowers your value and weakens your frame because it means you jumped through their hoop.  Answer a question with a question, so the prospect jumps through your hoop first--it shows who's in control.  After they have jumped through your hoop, go ahead and answer the question--you don't want to come across rude and conceited.  Here are some examples:

Prospect:  Is this sales/MLM?

You:  Is that what you're looking for?

Prospect:  How much money have you made?

You:  How much money do I need to make in order for you to be successful?

Prospect:  How much is this going to cost/do I have to pay anything?

You:  Is that how you're going to make your decision?

BTW, many network marketing trainers teach to ask these same questions, but they phrase it as "qualifying the question," i.e. your frame is that you don't understand what exactly they are asking or why they are asking it.  I prefer Mystery's take on it:  Who's in control here?

That's it for now.