My Night Out With Cuisine, Part 1

In just a few hours I am heading out for my second night out with Cuisine. Since I still haven't written about my first night out (despite having promised Solid on our call that I would have it done last Wednesday, not to mention the fact that it was over three weeks ago), I figure I had better get cracking!

Prior to going out I had prepared my opener--a topic I have used at parties for several years with good success: Oreos.

In the past, I had just used it as a conversation starter by asking "So how do you eat an Oreo?" when the conversation came to a stand still. But in reading Neil Strauss' Rules of the Game, I learned the value of opinion openers. And opinions that have to do with the difference between men and women are especially engaging.

Plus, Neil says it's important that your question has a "root"--that is, it's just weird to go up and ask a stranger's opinion on something. You must have a reason for asking.

So I made up a story that my husband and I had had an argument about whether it was a "guy" thing to just eat an oreo whole and that we were taking a survey. I was asking 20 men and he was somewhere else asking 20 women, and we were going to get together later to compare notes.

This was a great story, because first, it disqualified me--I said at the outset that I'm married, so they know I'm not hitting on them, I'm just there to have fun. And second, it sparked a whole fun conversation about Oreos, about men and women, about marriage/figthing in relationships, etc.

So I was excited as I headed into the city on the Metro (our subway). In fact, I was so excited that I considered asking some of the men that were on my train--but then I thought better of it. As these thoughts were going through my mind, I realized that one of the reasons women have a "bitch shield", as Mystery calls it, is simply SAFETY. This is a main reason why it is so important that men spend a lot of time comfort building before trying to make a move. A woman needs time to develop a sense of safety and security--this man is not going to rape her, beat her, take money from her, etc. He really is genuine. OK, I can let my guard down.

So anyway, I arrived in town to find that Cuisine had invited two other women (he told me he might). Neither of these were targets, but rather friends that could provide him with pre-selection value and were looking to meet men themselves. I was the only one in the group who was taken. ;o)

We talked on the street for awhile and strategized for a few minutes. I would be the one to open sets--of the three girls, I was the only who felt comfortable doing it. My primary job was to talk to and distract anyone who was not Cuisine's target. I would know who his target was because it would be the one he called "trouble." I would also be helping the other women meet men.

Two other PUAs were on their way, but we decided to head on in to our first bar without them.

The bar Cuisine chose was one that catered to an "older" crowd--which made me feel a lot better. I was concerned that I was going to be twice the age of all the people we met! Cuisine is 38, and one of the girls that came with us appeared to be in her 30s, so it was a good strategy.

The bar was on two levels, so first we went upstairs. Everyone hung up their coats and Shelley (the 30-something) and I headed to the bathroom--with a quick joke to Cuisine that it was real...not just "a girl thing"!

When we came out, Cuisine was already in a two-set, and just by his body language it was obvious who is target was. I knew my job was to distract the other girl, but I was caught off guard that he had already opened. How do I enter the set? I wasn't sure.

In the meantime, there was a 3-set of men between me and Cuisine. They were already opened up toward me, so I went ahead and approached them--they were my first Oreo guinea pigs! It worked quite well--in fact, a little too well...they kept wanting to talk to me, and I had to find an excuse to leave.

Eventually I managed to do so and made my way over to Cuisine's set. I just walked up and said hi and Cuisine introduced me to the two women. He made kind of a joke about which girl belonged to which name and said to them (about me) "Ah, she knows how f%@#'ed I am with names." I took up the game and said, "You mean he got it right? Wow!" Then I turned to Cuisine and said, "Right on!" and high-fived him.

Later during our debriefing, Cuisine told me that that was my first mistake of the evening--ack! He had already run a name routine with them and by making a joke out of it and high-fiving him, I had DLV'd him--that is, I had inadvertantly lowered his value in their eyes. Oops!

After we talked for a few minutes as a group, I started talking to the non-target as I was supposed to. I'm not sure how long we talked, but it seemed to me like a really long time. It surprised me, because I thought it would be a pretty quick matter for Cuisine to get the phone number. But in retrospect I realized that this is real life! The only experience I had was watching the TV show, which is full of editing.

My second mistake of the evening occurred when the non-target and I started talking about height. It started innocently enough--she mentioned that she had worked on the Obama campaign, and I asked her if she had ever met him. She said she had only seen him from a distance at the inaugural ball. I asked if he was tall, and her eyes got big and she said, "Yes, but then, I'm so short, everyone seems tall to me."

At that point I said, "Really, you're short?" (She was sitting on a bar stool and I was standing.) And I looked at her legs and her shoes--I knew that the ideal thing for Cuisine would be to get the non-target away from him and his target, so I was hoping when I did that she would stand up so I could see her and turn her back to them--but she didn't.

Instead, she said, "Well, compared to her," at which point she turned and brought her friend into the conversation.

I then said to the friend, "Oh, how tall are you?" She replied, I said something, and then I went back to talking with the non-target.

Cuisine and I would later argue about who actually said the words, "How tall are you?" I thought it was the friend, but I in retrospect I realized that Cuisine was right--I had been the one to actually ask the question. And it was a no-no because Cuisine is somewhat short and calling attention to that fact was another DLV.

Despite my two mess ups, Cuisine was eventually able to get his target's phone number, though I'll have to write about that another time. It's time to get ready for my second night out--this time I get to meet Knack, one of Mystery's right hand men at Venusion Arts.

Very exciting! :o)

Click here for Part 2.